Sound and Static: On Feeling Stuck // Pt. 1
“We must give up all our speed and aggression, the whole demanding quality. We must develop some compassion for ourselves, and then the open way just begins."
-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
What does the change of seasons feel like in your body?
As the Northern Hemisphere has transitioned out of hibernation into making new life, I'm feeling both a growing energetic warmth and the need to cleanse stagnation. Do you feel this, too? As energy wanes from stationary one day to overactive the next, listening to our energy can feel muddy if we don’t consider all of the bodies we contain. Our physical body, mental body, and energetic body, while interconnected, all need specific nourishment.
In meditation, we practice checking in with these bodies: bringing intention to each relationship and creating new conversations. When we listen for subtleties and invite our whole being to participate, the entire landscape becomes more alive—sun and water become more available to forgotten ground.
So what does this mean, to acknowledge and listen to all of our bodies?
Consider this feeling of stagnation, static, of being stuck. When I use the word “stuck,” similar reactions might be conjured, but there are a multitude of sources and scenarios that might cause the feeling. There is the kind of “stuck” where you feel as if you have no options, that the narrative can't be swayed. A sense of halt, isolation, lack of movement: we are frozen, ruminating, or repeating. But there is another kind of “stuck” that is such a part of our collective way of being we are often unaware of it. This kind of “stuck” is a persistent internal buzzing, speediness, and rush we can't seem to calm. While it might seem we could use this sensation to be productive, in reality it’s not useful. Rather, it drains our energy, moving us away from the things that matter most to us. It is like that restless feeling of lying awake at night—exhausted but still buzzing. We feel it in our bodies: knotted shoulders, tension headaches, and in our inability to see reality clearly or hold onto any semblance of positive momentum. The room may be quiet, but the buzzing is loud.
“I can’t get my mind to slow down or my brain to shut up” are sentiments that come up often when I teach meditation. We feel helpless to be stuck treading while also knowing that’s not getting us anywhere. But what if we’re blaming our minds for something that is actually occurring in our energetic body?
Our energy gets stuck at high speed and overflows into a busy mind. We repeatedly push past our natural energetic limitations, forgetting to pause and listen to the warning signs that our sense of grounding is being compromised. This resistance to and ignoring of our feeling world creates a toxic imbalance, an energetic disorder of sorts. We get stuck and don’t know how to move. Even when our physical body relaxes, something inside gets loud, leaving a residue of anxious energy within all of our bodies.
The goal is to listen to the whisper of our energetic bodies—which might initially be uncomfortable and even painful, but alleviates pressure as our entire being longs to be heard.
When we become aware that overthinking and resistance can be acknowledged through our feelings, then our hearts are freed up to serve our intellect in a way that brings us closer to our authentic selves. While there are many practical tools and strategies for working with the different bodies within us, the beginning place is getting curious and noticing. Perhaps listening is the entry point to a more tender conversation with ourselves.
We all have access to many radiant, small moments to honor all of our bodies. In this light, vitality is available and time is our own. In fact, you may even find that when you engage your senses, feelings, and emotions, time begins to slow and renewal is closer than you may have imagined.
Pulse + Pause
Imagine your energy sits at the root of your seat, the bottom of your belly. Breathe in and out of your nose, lengthening your breath and slowing the pace as you go. Imagine your energy is like a French Press coffee maker: as you exhale, you are pushing the energy down from the top of your head to the bottom of your seat—just below your belly. Do this for however long, however often you want.
Drop your awareness into your body and begin to feel its energies. You don’t need to move or invite anything, simply acknowledge what is there. What is its pace, how does it feel?
A blessing:
may your focus be on your direction,
rather than the speed:
your enjoyment of being,
not only your becoming—
your vitality sustained by a reservoir
